Funny How Things Work
by Benson-n-Stabler
Summary: Elliot and Olivia have been partners for 12 years. Things were tense, but one night, things led from one thing to another and well...let's just say it's funny how things work. Apparently, it's a small, small world and these two have a lot of explaining and sorting out to do. *Rated M for language/sexual content* (OTHER WARNINGS WILL BE MENTIONED BEFOREHAND).
1. Tension

**A/N: I am currently finishing up the next chapter for "Don't Take The Girl", however, I've been super busy lately much to my dismay. I'm amazed I found time to write this new story! I get these ideas and I have to write them down in my phone or else I'll forget and I believe I have 20 other drafts/ideas that I still haven't finished. Enjoy! :) **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plotline.**

**Chapter 1 – Tension**

"I'm heading home. I want those reports on my desk before you leave," Cragen said, glancing between his two detectives; they both nodded in silent confirmation and returned to their computer screens. Cragen left for the elevators and Olivia stretched her back up, over the back of her chair with her arms raised and crossed behind her head. Her tense muscles relaxed immensely and she sighed, rotating her head to release the muscles in her neck.

Elliot watched her from the corner of his eye for a moment, mesmerized by the way her body contorted to release tension. He was starting to feel tension, but not the same way she had been. He tried to shift himself discreetly, and was relieved to see that Olivia hadn't even been paying attention.

They hadn't exactly been on the best terms these last few weeks. He would make a point and she would quickly shoot it down; he was so pissed at her one day, almost completely lost it, but instead dared her to pull her gun out and shoot him dead if she hated him so much.

Which only made their argument longer, and louder.

Only resulting in their three-day suspension from the case and the precinct. Cragen didn't trust them enough after that and had Munch watching him, and Fin watching Olivia to make sure they wouldn't kill each other.

Elliot smirked.

He didn't think Olivia had it in her to kill him. He didn't even have it in himself to kill her so he really couldn't say anything about it. Tonight was one of those long, quiet nights though. They had barely spoken to each other like they used to, recently, it was always about the cases. They rarely spoke about their lives outside of the precinct. Not that either of them really had any now; Olivia had given up on the concept of dating for a while, and with Kathy taking custody over the kids and fleeing to New Jersey, Elliot didn't have much to do besides stare at the ceiling of his apartment when he couldn't sleep.

But tonight was where he finally cut bulldozed the wall between them; he was lonely, he wasn't going to lie. He missed the old them, when their twelve stressful years didn't finally catch up to them. He was worried Olivia would request a new partner; though she threatened it a few times, he himself was guilty, they never actually did. Cragen asked if they wanted new partners during a much larger argument about two weeks ago but they both refused his offer.

The problem was, was they were both stubborn and refused to walk away.

Plus, Elliot wasn't so sure he could lose another partner; first it was Olivia, then it was Dani…he just didn't want to keep driving them away. His partnership with Olivia was like a marriage, one almost far better, and far more bittersweet, than his former real one; as much as he hated to admit it. But he was willing to try and work things out with Olivia if she was; they just didn't talk, so things didn't get solved. They had a weird, sexual tension going on…that much he could sense.

"Are you done?" Olivia asked. Elliot felt the room get ten degrees hotter; had she caught him staring?

"What?"

"With your report?" Instantly, he felt the color drain back into his face, "Are you done?"

"Oh, uh…yeah I just need to finish one last thing." He said, typing again so he could distract himself from looking at her. She let out a small laugh and stood up.

"So technically no," she walked around his desk as the printer next to Fin's desk roared to life; she grabbed the papers that were already spit out and waited for the rest; Elliot stole another glance in her direction, immediately he began kicking himself. Her back to him, but his eyes landed somewhere else, adding more pressure to the front of his jeans. He mentally cursed himself and placed his head in his hands, willing himself to erase the image; he couldn't.

"Are you sure you're okay, El?" She asked, adding a paper clip to the top of the stack to hold it together, "You seem distracted today…more often than not recently."

"Just a headache," he replied, shaking his head; he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and clicked print. He hoped the report was done, it was a bitch to complete enough already. He didn't want to have to do it again tomorrow. Just as Olivia passed his desk, he stood up and tugged on the sleeve of her shirt, "Here, I'll put them on his desk." Olivia glanced down at his outstretched hand before handing her papers to him; the gesture shocked her, for once they were actually getting along.

"Thanks," she returned his smile, and walked around him to her desk to grab her keys and jacket. Elliot returned a few moments later.

"I'm amazed you didn't run to the elevator," he said softly, "Usually if we're the last two, you don't wait for me anymore."

"Well, we haven't exactly gotten along." Olivia stated simply, "The last thing Cragen needs is the two of us trying to kill each other in a small space." Elliot didn't seem the least bit phased by her answer, he knew it was true. He was feeling brave suddenly.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" He asked, "…I just think we should try and sort things out." Olivia smiled again, nodding.

"Sure," she answered, "but you're paying." He smirked and rolled his eyes, expecting her negotiation; _like old times. _They walked out together, for the first time in months and it felt good, normal almost. They were quiet for the most part, especially in Elliot's car. Olivia was surprised he even had his radio on, but she was thankful it kept the silence at bay. It wasn't overbearingly awkward, or as tense as it would have been.

"How are the kids?" She asked quietly; Elliot almost hadn't heard her, but he was used to her quiet voice when she wasn't sure of what to say. He shrugged after a long moment and glanced over at her. She wasn't looking at him, she was staring out the window as they passed by blurry street lights; she seemed to be watching the rain drops as they landed and ran down the glass. He admired the way the lights illuminated her face; she had a stoic, but soft expression with her forehead pressed against the glass. Her olive skin looked pale in the lights, and he loved watching her body sway slightly with the bumpy car.

Her hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail, waving at the bottom; they also bounced with the ride, almost like each strand was as light as a feather; he imaged they were, and his grip tightened on the wheel as he restrained himself from wrapping the thick strands around his fingers and playfully tugging at them, "they're good. I haven't spoken to them recently, they're usually out and Kathy answers more than they do. From what I've heard, Eli's starting first grade, Dickie and Lizzie are graduating soon, Kathleen's enjoying college, and Maureen's gonna be starting her new job pretty soon. She's excited about it." Olivia's lips pulled into a smile at the love and affection in his words.

"That's great, El," she said, looking over at him for a brief moment; she noticed his hands on the wheel, they were white-knuckled, "Do you want to stop for aspirin or something?" Her question threw him off for a moment, but he shook his head.

"No, I'm fine, Liv. I swear by it, it'll go away," he reassured her. She turned her attention back to the road and he sighed. His problem was, ever since Kathy left, his feelings for his partner resurfaced. He tried to suppress them, he tried until he was blue in the face, but no matter how much he tried it was fruitless. He wanted to be open with her, but with how much they were constantly at each other's throats, he didn't need that information thrown back at his face.

God, he felt like a little boy again; like he had to harass and make fun of the girl he liked just to get her to notice him. Except she was headstrong…he was the gasoline and she was the fire; you can't play with fire. So his attempts at getting her attention were pointless.

He also feared that his separation was just another factor; that he was lonely and just attached himself to someone closer. At the same time, he knew his feelings for his partner was strong. But in the eyes of their work, it was wrong all together.

Though Elliot rarely gave two fucks about what was right or wrong unless it involved the line of justice. And as far as they were concerned, their outside lives rarely mixed with their work. Yeah, occasionally things would be brought up but nothing too major.

They spent more time in silence; Olivia tried listening to the music while Elliot paid attention to the road; it wasn't a horribly uncomfortable silence, but they wished they had something to talk about nonetheless. And neither wanted to start the conversation and double the already awkward air.

"What about you?" Elliot asked then; Olivia's eyes were swimming with questions, and he elaborated, "Like what have you been doing?"

"Uh…not much," Olivia replied, feeling insecure about her lack of a social life, "I work, I go home at least twice a week, and that's about it…" it was a stupid question, he knew that, he just wanted to hear her voice.

"Funny, me too." Elliot's lips pulled upwards slightly, "Though I wouldn't exactly call my apartment home. It's too quiet."

"Yeah," Olivia sighed, "unfortunately, you get used to it after a while. When I first got my apartment, I thought it'd be fun on my own. And it was, but there's nothing to look forward too. I never got the chance to go home to a loud atmosphere. It's a whole other perspective." Elliot nodded.

"I understand," he said; he did. It was like a piece of solace, but he missed the noise more than he cared to admit. "You giving up?" She turned to face him again; her expression told him she was expecting this question.

"I don't know," she said, almost in a whisper; he heard her voice break then. He wasn't trying to make her cry, that was the last thing he wanted to do. She turned away to wipe a tear away, she wasn't about to talk about it and get all emotional.

"We're actually talking." Elliot said. She could hear the smile in his voice and laughed, nodding.

"Yeah, we are."

_**XxxxX**_

"Your food will arrive shortly," the waitress said, placing a beer down in front of Elliot and a cup of tea down in front of Olivia.

"You're still drinking tea?" Elliot asked, motioning to the steaming cup across from him. Olivia gave him a questioning look, one that told him 'obviously'.

"Yes," she said slowly, "that wasn't a one-time phase sort of thing, El." He raised his hands in fake surrender with an amused smile. "Just like your 'staying-comfortable' wasn't a phase."

"Being comfortable is not a crime."

"So an occasional cup of tea is?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying," Elliot replied.

"What are you saying?" Olivia questioned, testing him. They wore matching smug expressions, neither was about to lose but this was a conversation that would land them nowhere, with no winner. Elliot shook his head, backing down.

"I don't know…" Olivia smirked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Wow, for once the great Detective Elliot Stabler doesn't know something…" she shook her head dramatically, shaking her foot below the table. It hit the side of Elliot's leg and her knee nearly shot through the table; she stopped so abruptly, waving it off as trying to uncross her legs.

"You sure?" He still had an amused expression, and she wondered if he was being sincere or if he had figured her out. Over their twelve years of partnership, she had developed feelings for him. It was cliché, and she hated herself for that. It was wrong to have a relationship that wasn't strictly business in their unit, she knew that. Hell, everyone did…she just didn't know why her body had to betray her. He was just out of a messy ending to his marriage, granted it was two years ago, but that didn't excuse anything.

He was the longest relationship she ever had with a man, and she knew that was partly why she felt this way. And since their arguments have grown so heavily over the last couple of months, she's afraid to see it all end because of one. A relationship would only increase that risk, especially if things didn't work out for them.

"I'm fine," Olivia dismissed, "I was just trying to uncross my legs."

"Bit clumsy don't you think?" He teased; _damn you_, she thought.

"I never said I was graceful, Stabler." Olivia retorted, ripping apart the corners of her napkin to keep from looking up. Her face was probably flaming red, and looking down, not being able to hold his gaze showed her weak at the moment. Before his taunting could continue, the waitress reappeared with their food.

"Here you go," she placed their plates down and smiled between them, "Are you all set? Would you like anything else?"

"Another beer when you get the chance, please," Elliot said; she nodded and took the empty bottle, leaving them alone again. Olivia's shocked eyes met his.

"You drank that whole bottle already?" She asked; he nodded slowly, not understanding her line of questioning, "Don't be pounding drinks down there, detective. I still need a ride home and I don't feel like dragging your ass home. I'll have to walk the rest of the way if that's the case."

"I'd let you borrow my car."

"And drive all the way back to Queens the next morning to pick you up? No thanks." She laughed, taking a forkful of salad into her mouth. Elliot watched her swallow, trying his best not to think much of it.

"How many times I have driven all the way back to Brooklyn for you? How many times have I driven you to work, Benson?" He cut into his steak, biting it off the fork as she spoke.

"Many of times, Stabler. However, most times I never called you for a ride."

"Okay, fair enough. But I don't believe this 'not-dragging-my-ass-to-work' bullshit. You know you would if I asked you to." Elliot said, picking up one of the fries off of her plate before popping it into his mouth.

"Fair enough." She agreed, wiping her hands on her napkin, "But let's keep the record straight, shall we? I don't always ask you for a ride. You show up 'in-the-neighborhood'."

"Usually I am." He replied.

"I don't believe that." She laughed, "How do you just happen to appear in my neighborhood. You do realize I am capable of driving my own vehicle, right?"

"Except you barely use it," he pointed out, stealing another fry.

"Well maybe I would if you gave me a chance to."

"Let's be realistic, Liv…" he said, holding his hand up to stop her protest, "You still wouldn't use that car even if I let you drive yourself. You're lucky you have me as your chauffer."

"I don't need you as my chauffer." She said is harsher then she intended, "…but I appreciate it, El."

"I know." They ate in silence for the rest of their meal; occasionally exchanging their opinions. They didn't talk about what they should have, but they were at least talking.

_**XxxxX**_

"Thank you," Olivia said just as they pulled up at the curb.

"No problem," Elliot smiled, glancing over at her; she remained in her seat, almost like she didn't want to leave yet. He felt like a teenager all over again, like the night should have ended with a shy, first kiss. Like they hadn't just been working on a rape case ten hours ago. Like the last, tense few months hadn't happened.

"Should I be expecting you tomorrow morning?"

"For once, no," Elliot grinned, at her question, "I need to meet one of Dickie's teachers. He wants me to drive all the way down to Newark…" Olivia nodded, pulled the lock up and pushed the door open, stepping out onto the sidewalk. "Let me walk you up."

"Uh sure," Olivia nodded, shutting the car door behind her as Elliot stepped out and around the car to her side. She wasn't used to this behavior from him, but it wasn't foreign to her either. Olivia ran her fingers down the doorbells, listening for the buzz. She didn't know who would actually be awake at this hour, but was thankful when she heard the sound of the door unlock.

Again, they remained in silence. The palm of his hand was itching to rest on the small of her back; thankfully, the stairwell and hallways weren't too long. They reached her doorstep just before he made a mistake. "Um, thank you again, El."

"You're welcome," he said softly, "See you tomorrow."

"Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Liv." She quietly shut the door behind her and Elliot walked back out to the car; he drove home with a smile plastered to his face. For once he and Liv had a conversation that didn't end in one of them getting pissed off and the other yelling. For once, in a long,_ long_ time, they were actually happy to be in the same room together.

_**XxxxX**_

"Hey Liv," Fin greeted, handing her a Styrofoam cup as she made her way over to the coffee machine.

"Thanks," she replied, taking the cup and pouring the coffee into it; she grabbed four packets of sugar and dumped them in one by one, mixing it with a wooden popsicle stick from the tray by the side.

"Elliot didn't come in with you?"

"No, he's with his son…parent-teacher conference." Olivia answered, returning to her desk. So far, they hadn't been given a new case; she grabbed a pen from the top left draw and began working on the mountain of paperwork she had yet to start.

"Elliot's going down to New Jersey?"

"I guess so," Olivia replied, "Dickie really wanted him there."

"I don't ever remember going to any of Ken's." Fin said thoughtfully, "I can't tell if I missed out, or if it was a good thing I never was told about them."

"Well, judging from the pms-vibes Elliot gives off after most of them, I'd say you're pretty lucky," Olivia chuckled, scribbling away. Her eyes scanned over a hundred works per minute, trying her best to get it over with, but keep thorough. "But I think this time it was for something good. Otherwise, Dickie wouldn't have been so persistent with his father attending."

It was about two in the afternoon now, Olivia wasn't sure how long she had her head bent down at the papers, but Elliot had entered the precinct by the time she had finished half of the stack. She looked up just as he had sat down and she smiled briefly, "Hey."

"Hey," he smiled, throwing his jacket over the back of the chair.

"We have a lot of paperwork." Olivia said, handing him a few files she had already finished. Elliot groaned, taking the papers from her. Though she wouldn't admit it, his groan did things to her…there was nothing left for the imagination, that was for sure.

"Is Cragen making me rewrite the report?" Olivia shook her head.

"No, he didn't say anything about it," she replied.

"I'm starting to think his silence is scarier than actually yelling at us," Elliot said. Olivia laughed, nodding in agreement. "Want some coffee?"

"Uh…Fin beat you to it. But a refill would be nice?" Olivia said, handing her cup over to his outstretched hand. Elliot left his desk, heading over to the coffee machine; he made Olivia's first, how she usually took it, and then made his. When he returned, she had about a quarter of the stack to go.

"Couldn't wait for me, huh?" Elliot asked, placing the cup down by her keyboard, "Now I'm stuck doing all of my paperwork while you're almost done."

"Yeah, well I couldn't let it sit any longer. If it were possible, these papers would be growing mold by the time I actually got them done if I didn't do it now." She took a large sip from her coffee, thanking him for the refill. They got to work afterwards, falling into their own silence as the rest of the bullpen buzzed with phone calls, voices, and other sounds. Cragen had ordered for them to remain on desk duty until all of the paper work was done; Olivia had been given another stack, much to her dismay.

Elliot was about halfway through his at that point.

It had been a pretty slow day for them; they didn't like that Cragen had ordered it but they respected what he wanted done. And it was better to get it out of the way now than to let it grow and grow and grow until they could no longer see each other across their desks/ Many of the others had gone home, it was already eleven-thirty and they had once again found themselves in the deserted precinct.

Cragen had left hours ago; he had told them they could go home but they were determined to finish the majority of their piles before they left. The same sexual tension from before was there, but Elliot couldn't exactly tell her that.

"_Hey Liv, if I asked you for a casual, quick fix would you hate me afterwards?"_

Probably.

If she didn't, he would hate himself. But it was unlikely that she wouldn't not hate him. But he would be lying if he said he didn't want her. If he said he didn't dream about her warm, exposed body lying next to his when he woke up the next morning.

Hell, if there weren't cameras, he would take her on the desks right then and there, but he couldn't do that to her. This was Olivia he was thinking about, his partner of twelve-years. It took him some time, but when he really came to terms with his feelings for her, he realized he didn't want his marriage to last. And it was selfish, he had kids he should be going home to now and an ex-wife of twenty something years. It was all gone now, but it didn't hurt like it should have. He missed his family, he would always miss them, but he still got to see his kids; he still got to talk to them, he wasn't shutting anybody out. He wasn't even shutting Kathy out; he wasn't mad at her, he didn't hate her. Their relationship, despite the fighting, was never something he regretted. Kathy is still the beautiful woman he'll always love, he's just no longer _in_ love with her. They could be civil for the kids, but it was strictly that now.

"El?" Olivia's voice broke him from his stupor. He glanced up, his eyes meeting hers; he almost fell into another stupor, but did his best to focus this time, "You were distracted again."

"Sorry, just a loud mind." He dismissed, rubbing his chin absentmindedly as he spoke.

"Anything you want to talk about?" She offered, resting her chin on her folded hands.

"Uh, not really…no," Elliot said slowly, "mostly thinking about my kids…"

"Oh yeah? You love talking about them though…how was Dickie's parent-teacher conference?"

"It was a lot better than I expected. He mentioned Dickie's grades have seemed to improve better there so I couldn't be more proud of him." Elliot answered, smiling more to himself. Olivia couldn't help the swell of affection in her chest at his words; she knew how much Dickie meant to Elliot. Dickie was practically a miniature version of him.

"That's great, Elliot." She'd watched him grow up to be almost exactly like his father; almost a spitting image, right down to the anger problems. She stood up after a moment and made her way to Cragen's office so she could drop of the recently finished paperwork. She heard the door close behind her, and turned around to see Elliot leaning back against the wall with his arms across his chest, "What are you doing?" Her heart sped up slightly; it wasn't likely he was going to try anything funny, she knew him better than that.

He actually looked sexy up against the wall like that, but she wouldn't admit that outright, "Suppose I were to try something?" Elliot asked; he was feeling brave again; whether he was suddenly a hormonal teenager again, or his adrenaline was at an all-time high, he couldn't decide.

"That would depend on what it was…" Olivia said.

"So you're not saying no?"

"Well I'm not saying yes." He smirked at her answer; it was definitely like her to rebut his response.

"What if it were to benefit us both, and fix our issue?"

"We have an issue?" He rolled his eyes.

"Don't give me that crap, Liv. You know as well as I do that we've both been too tense for our own good lately." Elliot said, pushing off the wall. He walked over to her and stopped just a few feet in front of her. Olivia instinctively backed up, the back of her thighs hit Cragen's desk and she braced it with white knuckles. She wasn't really afraid…more of aroused, but that was probably her body's stupidest reaction these last two days.

"What are you implying Stabler?" She asked. She knew this game…it would be fun to mess with him, "…that we _do it_?" She watched his mask fall for a fraction of a second before he composed himself and cleared his throat. "I guess it would benefit us…but would it really be worth it to risk everything?" She had dropped her voice an octave lower, looking for a response. She was satisfied when a hungry look came into his eyes.

Olivia took a few steps closer, her face just a few inches from his, "Not so tough are you now?" She smirked, leaning in more; her lips just barely grazed his, and she watched his eyes flutter close. She moved even closer, her top lip grazing his bottom one; it was enough to elicit a moan from her, but she bit it back. There were sparks dancing behind her eyelids, she was about ready to pull away and leave him there when his arms gripped her shoulders and he pulled her forward. His lips crashed down onto hers, hard. She let out a whimper, but kissed him back.

Why was she doing this? Why now? It was so sudden! She wanted this, of course she wanted this. But her body betrayed her so quickly. His tongue was practically begging for an entrance, but she refused to give him that satisfaction.

"Olivia…" he growled, "Open up…" she let out a 'no' against his lips and he became frustrated with her stubbornness. He placed his fingers under her chin and trailed them back across her skin; she let out another whimper and Elliot took advantage of it. His tongue met hers, enjoying every inch of her mouth he could reach.

"Damn you," she rasped out, just as he pulled her bottom lip between his teeth and sucked. It was a horrible way to lose…she was so ready to leave him wanting more, and yet he had turned the tables.

After a long moment, Elliot released her and pressed a short kiss on her swollen lips, "Nice try…but I was kissing you tonight." With that, he left the office with a smug expression and a shocked Olivia behind him. She glanced around the office, immediately feeling guilty. Not guilty for what happened, but guilty that it happened in their boss' office.

She wouldn't be able to walk in here and not think about it now.

"Damn you, Stabler…"

**A/N: Soooo? What do you guys think? Feedback is appreciated :)**


	2. Damn You, Stabler

_**Warning: Sexual content, language**_

**Chapter 2 – Damn You, Stabler**

Elliot had offered to drive her home again that night, but Olivia, though she wasn't angry with him, refused. She wanted to get some air and clear her head; she had let her guard down, and though it didn't feel as big a wrong turn as it should have, she still couldn't believe it had happened.

She couldn't repress the memory to the back of her mind, nor could she help but think that he was tailing her at the very moment. She didn't see or hear any cars nearby, but that didn't mean he wasn't somewhere close. She wouldn't put it past him, and she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him on this topic. He'd want to make sure she got home safe, especially since it was a long, _long_ walk home.

The feeling of Elliot's lips on hers…it was going to drive her mad. For twelve years she had wondered what it felt like, when she allowed her mind to get that far at least. And tonight it had happened. Did she regret it?

No, she didn't think so…would it set in tomorrow?

_Damn you, Stabler_, she thought again for probably the hundredth time that night. They weren't even arguing and she was cursing him out. Maybe that's—actually no, that's_ exactly_ who they were, and she knew it.

_**XxxxX**_

Elliot knew the route Olivia usually took home when she walked; he was guilty of stalking her, but at a safe distance. And it technically wasn't_ stalking_ her, he was just making sure she got home safely. If he could protect her and keep her from harm's way, especially in the city with her status known by many, then he was doing his job as her partner.

Granted, she'd probably never trust him again for not putting his trust in her but he didn't see it that way. He trusted her a hell of a lot more than she knew, and more then he cared to admit to her right now. He just couldn't bear the thought of losing her if he were able to prevent it. She would thank him at some point; he'd wait a million years if he had too just to hear her say it.

He still had the feeling of her lips on his; she was a minx, and he was screwed. He had been harboring quite a reaction from her, and he tried his best not to let her know that. He knew, the moment her stance changed, that she was gonna try and be the game changer. However, Elliot Stabler was not about to let his partner beat him, no matter how much she had him wrapped around her finger. He wanted to keep some dignity now that he'd kissed her.

He had parked his car just a few blocks ahead, waiting for her to appear around the corner; he was anxious to make sure she would, and when he finally saw her he visibly relaxed in the seat. He kept himself low, out of the street light so she could pass without spotting him. She had her eyes to the ground, her hands in her pockets, and she looked like she was in no rush to make it home before three.

Elliot rolled his eyes, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. This wasn't just a walk home, this was one of her famous fresh-air/time-to-think walks. He wouldn't pin the whole kiss on her, though she tempted him...

Horribly.

She knew exactly what she was doing, and she played the part well. It took everything in him not to take her right there; twelve years of strict partnership and here he was like a goddamn teenager with a massive crush. How cliché could things get?

Though it didn't bother him in the least; if they could make something from the ashes, something that wasn't exactly frowned upon, he was all for it. Quitting their jobs, for something they felt seemed insane but at the same time their only option. He knew Olivia wouldn't go along with it though. Hell, he didn't even know if she actually liked him as much as he admired her. He would spill his affection for her in fifty different languages if it made it easier to say them to her. Except she was quite skilled in languages and would probably, easily, and without a doubt, pick up on what he was saying like it was nothing.

And he was trying not to freak her out.

He didn't want to drive her away and ruin everything either. So this entire situation left him torn between what he wanted to do and what he should do. There didn't seem to be any good chances at the moment; they were all shots in the dark.

The wind had picked up slightly, a cool breeze blowing in through his open car window; it felt good, almost refreshing. He continued to watch Olivia walk; she had passed the car only moments ago and yet was found himself as tuck because she'd spot his car if he drove it now to keep up with her.

However, the wind wasn't the only think that picked up. Rain started to drizzle down just as she turned the corner and he sighed, thanking God he now had a good enough excuse to get her in his car.

He turned the car engine on and the lights shone out a few good feet ahead of him; he put the car in drive and went forward, turning the corner she had. She looked back at the sound of it; he didn't miss the roll of her eyes as she immediately picked up on who it was, "need a ride?"

"How did I know you'd be following me?" Olivia asked, brushing her hair back behind her ears, "You're predictable, El."

"You'd rather walk in the rain?" He asked, leaning over the arm rest to glance at her out the open window; she let out an exasperated sigh and opened the door, sliding into the passenger's seat.

"It's just a drizzle," she said, looking out the window as he drove off.

"Liv, you'd be soaked by the time you got home," he started; he offered her his dry jacket from the backseat but she softly declined.

"Do you always stalk me?"

"I prefer to call it watch over, and only nights that you don't let me drive you home."

"So basically, the last few months."

"That information is confidential," Elliot replied after a moment of consideration. Olivia laughed, shaking her head at his lack of response, "And that's beside the point."

"What's the point?"

"I just want to make sure you're safe, Liv." He said slowly, "I don't feel like going through new partners. I prefer the one twelve-years strong."

Olivia smiled to herself and nodded, "Me too."

_**XxxxX**_

"Elliot, Olivia, you're coming with me. We just got a call from CSI, they believe the victim they found was sexually abused. The ME's already headed down there, she's gonna give us a statement when we get there." Cragen sent out a call to Munch and Fin, telling them to meet them at the scene.

They arrived about twenty minutes after the ME; she was almost finished examining the body as they crossed the police tape, "What's the verdict, doc?" Elliot asked.

Melinda stood up, closing the file she was previously writing in, "Vaginal tearing, and scars from earlier abuse. I'd say this time, he used something sharp."

"He sodomized her," Olivia said uncomfortably. Elliot glanced down at the body; it was covered by a thick, blue blanket, being shielded from the public eye, "What kind of object do you think it is?"

"I'll let you know once I run the tests. I found some fragments inside of her. But if I had to guess, I'd say he used something wooden."

"CSU will take over from here," Cragen said, "We may need to rush those results."

"I'll go as fast as I can. The results will be brought to you as soon as I'm done." Melinda promised; she walked away after Cragen nodded in confirmation.

_**XxxxX**_

It was around ten forty-five when the squad returned to the precinct; they had spent most of the day searching for leads, only finding dead ends. It was a stressful day to say the least.

Olivia slumped down in her desk chair, resting her pounding head in her hands. Her gaze fell to the floor as she dug her fingers into her scalp to try and alleviate the pain. Elliot went to the coffee maker and made cups for the four of them; it looked like it was going to be, yet again, another late night.

"We know that this killer has struck before. Back in 1989, a woman about 22 years old was found with the same cable-wire ligature marks on her neck, wrists, and ankles…"

"The ME also mentioned our latest victim was sodomized," Munch said, sitting down on the edge of Olivia's desk as he looked over the files once more, "…with a homemade bludgeon. Looks like he made it especially for her."

"What about the first victim?"

"She was sodomized with the same kind of weapon." Olivia read, "Our perp has a fetish for watching women—," she stopped and distracted herself by rereading the medical examination. She knew there was no need to finish that sentence.

"Where should we start looking first?" Fin asked.

"From the beginning."

_**XxxxX**_

"I'm gonna head home," Fin said, standing up from his desk. He rubbed his eyes for a brief moment before grabbing his coat off the back of his chair, "it's almost three-thirty. See you in a few hours."

"Goodnight," Olivia said, her voice syncing with Elliot's as they both spoke at the same time; she gave him an amused glance before cutting her eyes back down at the papers before her. Fin had already made it to the elevators, missing their unspoken communication.

Munch had left a few hours ago, his coffee wasn't keeping him awake like he had hoped and he wanted to make it home before he passed out entirely. Fin had made a joke about checking up on him to make sure he didn't fall asleep and crash into a tree.

Olivia felt his eyes on her then; she could sense his gaze and looked up to meet his blue, smoldering eyes. He was shameless, "You don't have to stay here with me, you know. You're free to go home whenever…"

"To my lonely apartment, no thank you," Elliot sighed, leaning back in his chair. His eyes never left her face and she felt her skin getting hotter, "Besides, I'm not going to leave you to do all of the work. Suppose you make a break through, then you'll get all the credit and I don't think I can let that happen," he teased; Olivia scoffed a laugh, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Oh please, I'd call you and tell you about it. You'd be the one telling Cragen it was all me." She said knowingly. Elliot smirked, shaking his head.

"With this case, no I wouldn't," she rolled her eyes and he put his pen down, "I'd want credit for this pain in the ass."

"Damn," she joked; she stood up from her desk and stretched her back out. She watched Elliot swallow and it almost threw her back into her seat. She managed to sit down slowly and looked at him with a serious expression, "…can we…talk?"

"Of course," Elliot replied, growing serious himself, "what about?"

"What happened last night." She said slowly. The corners of his lips tugged upward slightly and he nodded.

"You can say we kissed, Liv. It's not a dirty word," though his light demeanor was soothing, she still felt on edge.

"Right…" she bit her lip, scratching her eyebrow like she usually did when she was confused, "…I just wanted to know why?"

"Why what? Why we kissed?"

"Well, why it happened," she explained, feeling absolutely foolish that she couldn't get those words out and he could. She watched as he thought carefully about it for a moment.

"I wanted too," Elliot said quietly, "Liv…I'm not gonna lie to you."

"Was it…genuine?" She asked. He laughed, shaking his head.

"What kind of question is that? What answer are you expecting from something like that? Of course it was, Liv. People kiss because of something that's there, I don't know about you but I like to think chivalry still exists."

"I think my luck with chivalry died a long time ago, El." Olivia replied, looking down at her desk as she spoke. She definitely felt foolish now. He was so calm and she was the damn Energizer Bunny.

"Oh come on, you even said so yourself, I'm the longest relationship you've ever had with a man. That's got to count for something." Elliot said. She looked up at him through her eyelashes, her eyes were filled with questions in that moment.

"What are you saying?" He shifted in his seat, considering his answers. He didn't want to lie to her, but being completely honest was not his forte.

"…I care about you, Olivia…" he started, leaning forward across his desk as though there were people around who would hear him if he spoke any louder.

"Well yeah. I knew that," she said, "We're partners…"

"You're gonna make me say it," he sighed, "from what I've figured out since my divorce, Liv, is that I care about you as a little _more_ than partners." She was genuinely shocked; she suspected, but to hear her suspicions come true was a whole other ball park. "Please don't run because I said that. I'm not going to do anything that'll jeopardize our partnership." She nodded and looked down again, biting her lip like before. Her mind was racing, trying to sort through the newfound information. Elliot picked his pen back up and returned to the files.

She didn't know what to truly say, but the words were out before she could stop herself, "…I know it'd be wrong, but maybe we could benefit from it."

"Come again?" He asked, looking up without moving his head. She sucked in a deep breath and braved herself to repeat herself.

"I don't know, maybe we could benefit from something more."

"Cragen would have to split us up, Liv…" she cut him off mid-sentence.

"Well not a real relationship…I don't think…" she tried to fix her words before continuing, "…we could have something more without starting a relationship and letting it affect our work."

"Are you proposing a friends with benefits relationship?" He asked, wondering if this was reality he was in. Maybe he had fallen asleep at his desk and just dreamed all of this. Except he was pretty damn sure he was wide awake and she just said they could have a sexual relationship, "if I remember correctly, you slept with Cassidy about a decade ago and called yourself out for making a mistake. I don't want this to turn into a regret, Liv."

"Would you see it as a regret?" She questioned. Elliot shook his head, laughing slightly.

"I'm a man, no trip to a heavenly body is a regret." He explained, "however, if something were to ruin our friendship, I don't think I'd have any choice but to regret it."

"Funny, I was just thinking the same a few minutes ago…" Olivia smirked, "…except, since we're being honest, I haven't exactly had a steady relationship to take care of my needs." He watched the color flood into her face as he said it and he couldn't help what it did to him. He almost groaned but bit it back.

"…So you're being 100% honest here?"

"Yes?"

"If you're asking it as a question I'm going to have to shut this entire idea down." He wanted her to be sure, and though this wasn't easy for him either, he absolutely wanted her.

"I mean, yes." She said, trying to keep her heart from bursting out of her chest; any faster and she would be amazed if he didn't hear it hammering against her ribcage.

"And you want this when?"

"Now?" Another uncertain answer. He gave her a skeptical look and she rolled her eyes, "Fine, now."

"Liv, I need to know if you're being honest or not. If you're nervous, I get that, but I don't want any mixed signals if we're going to try and make this work."

"Sorry," she replied, "…now." He nodded and stood up from his desk; he turned away from her and headed out to the interrogation rooms. Olivia was confused by this and waited a few moments before following him down the hall. "Where are you going?"

"Well, the beds in the bunk room are not big enough for us both, and I don't think Cragen needs video evidence from the middle of the precinct. The next best thing is the only rooms without cameras." He answered, "But I want to get a few things straight first, okay?" She nodded, "I'm not going to treat you like this is a one night stand. I care about you, I'm going to treat you as though we were in a real relationship." She nodded again in response and he slowly advanced towards her, backing her up against the wall, "Starting off…with you letting me kiss you again."

She closed her eyes and waited for him to capture her lips; she expected a hungry kiss, but it was a soft, sweet and passionate one. It made her knees weak instantly and he placed his hands on her waist to hold her up. She felt the tip of his tongue trace her bottom lip, begging for her acceptance; she granted it to him and he shamelessly explored her mouth like it was the last drop of water he was ever going to get. She whimpered into his mouth and he responded with a groan, vibrating against her lips.

He slipped his fingers underneath the fabric of her shirt and slowly, teasingly, ran his fingers up her curvy sides. Her body reacted, breaking out in tingles; it sent her chest jutting forward, colliding with his strong, firm frame. He smiled against her lips and removed one hand to brush her hair back behind her ear. He wanted to do right by her, and if they were going to do this, he was going to do it in a way he knew would keep her from regretting it later. He wanted to show her that this wasn't just something he was going to do once and forget. He wanted her to see that he cared about her, and the only way he would allow them to go through with this was if he could take his time and appreciate her.

While his lips made love to hers, he tugged at the bottom of her shirt, indirectly asking to remove the fabric from her body. She reached down and placed her fingers over his, pulling it up over her head, leaving her chest exposed. Their lips broke apart for a brief second, but the moment her shirt hit the floor, he recaptured them in a quick second; her silky, lavender bra was the only piece of fabric covering her torso.

His lips moved to the corner of hers as he left traces of little pecks; she automatically smiled and he lowered his head to her neck. Her hands flew up and her fingers found their home in the short hair on the back of his head, "Elliot…" she moaned, almost whimpering again as his lips found a sensitive spot. He began unbuttoning his shirt and she helped him with his tie, loosening it and throwing it down with her shirt. She pushed the fabric off the backs of his shoulders and placed a small kiss against the scar from when he'd been shot by Bushido.

Elliot grabbed her by her hips and hoisted her up against the wall; her legs immediately wrapping around his waist to stay in place. She could feel him through the fabric of her jeans, and she was impatient for him. She tried not to think of how wrong all of this was, because goddammit she wanted this and it has been a really long time since another man touched her. It was wrong, but it felt so right.

He placed his hands up along her back for support and rested her against the wall again. He undid the clasp of her bra, allowing her to slip her arms out.

Like the others, it was forgotten on the floor.

There was nothing blocking their chest now, and Elliot leaned forward to press light kisses in between her breasts. She moaned at the sensation, arching her back as he cupped her in his hands. She felt incredible, and he mentally kicked himself because his imagination was nowhere near the real thing. Not even the greatest stretch of the imagination could ever prepare him for the amazing, fire-burning feeling that Olivia Benson gave off in his hands.

He was amazed the front of his jeans hadn't busted open already. He was in a lot of pain, restricting himself, but it would all be worth it pretty soon.

She shifted her hips against his, biting back another moan at the feeling. Elliot, however, couldn't keep back the growl that escaped his throat. He pressed his lips to her neck again and bit down lightly, holding back another growl. The pain and pleasure mixed antagonized her, she let out a whimper against his ear and his hands flew to the button on the front of her pants. He ripped it out of the clasp and set her back on her feet; he bent down as he pulled her pants down her smooth, creamy legs.

God how he'd daydreamed about her heavenly body. The devil himself had created her to taunt him, and fuck she had fulfilled this purpose with an A plus. She placed her hands on his shoulders as she stepped out of them, and he let his gaze linger on the matching panties. It was almost like she had this planned…

He stood up and wrapped an arm around her waist, turning her so her back was to his chest, "You're going to be the fucking death of me, Liv," he whispered in a husky voice; his breath tickled her ear and she smirked. He pressed more kissed on the back of her ear, down the side of her jaw, and against her shoulder, enjoying the way she moaned.

He placed his leg between hers in an attempt to spread them apart a little more. She braced the wall and he rested his knee against it below her. She was already panting, trying to form a coherent thought.

Slowly, he allowed the hand that wasn't holding her up to graze down her stomach; the teasing was causing her agony and she just wanted to yell at him for it. But her brain was mush at the moment and it all felt too good to stop. She knew what he was going to do, and she wasn't about to stop him.

His fingers reached the elastic line of her panties and he dipped them below the fabric; her eyes rolled to the back of her head as he rubbed the smooth skin just above her sensitive area. She definitely planned something…

"The fucking death of me…" he mumbled again into her neck. He began tracing his tongue down her skin and she moaned. He slid his fingers lower, causing her back to arch into him. She accidentally rubbed against the crotch of his jeans and he growled loudly into her shoulder, "Jesus…"

"Please," she begged breathlessly, turning her head some to face him. He captured her lips in a bruising kiss, biting her bottom lip between his teeth. He gently sucked on it as he began rubbing circles against her clit. She threw her head back onto his shoulder, ignoring the pain his teeth had caused when she pulled away, "Ell—," she released a loud moan that went straight to his cock. He increased the pressure by sinking a finger into her. She let out a half-scream and was thankful his arm was wrapped around her because she would have fallen. He added another finger and she hissed.

"You're so wet, Olivia," he rasped out, kissing the sensitive spot behind her ear again, "I'm not going to be able to hold on much longer,"

"I want you—now!" She managed. That was all he needed to hear. He pulled out of her and turned her around, gently placing her against the wall so she had a sturdy support. He loosened the belt around his waist and tugged his jeans down his legs, along with his boxers.

He was most definitely shameless.

Olivia couldn't remove her gaze from his entire, naked form; he was beautiful and sexy. A dangerous mixed that made her feel bad for the men who couldn't compete with him. He was devastatingly built and she suddenly wondered if he would fit.

"I don't have a condom," he said between breaths.

"Elliot, at my age, pregnancy is almost unlikely," she reassured him, though in this beautiful moment that fact still saddened her, "and I'm clean."

"Me too, I just want to make sure this is alright."

"It's alright." She said, resting her forehead against his. He pressed a small kiss to her lips before proceeding.

He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up against the wall again; he was positioned at her entrance and he slowly let her down onto him, groaning into her neck as she moaned up into the air. Her head hit the wall with a hollow thud, but she barely registered it.

The moment they had both imagined had finally happened, and it was nothing like they ever thought.

"Oh god…" she cried, her voice an octave higher, "…Elliot—!"

"Olivia, you're—," neither could complete their sentences; they remained still for a moment, not ready for the moment to end. When he was sure he was settled, he slowly thrust up, eliciting a louder noise from her; it was probably his favorite sound yet. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders and he latched on to her breast, sucking in an agonizing motion. Her mouth had formed the perfect O shape and he couldn't help but think of how beautiful she looked in that moment.

They found a rhythm quickly; not too fast, but not too slow. She met each of his, earning groans of pleasure from each other. She felt her peak rise up again and her whimpers became more urgent. He was close as well, but he forced his eyes open to watch her come.

"Come for me, Liv," he whispered, reaching a hand in between them to rub her clit again. And just like that, she came crashing down. Her body tensed as she let out a scream and bit into his shoulder to hide the noise as though someone might possibly hear what they were doing. Her walls clamped down around him, sending him to the edge, "That's it," he gritted out, continuing to rub her until her body began to slowly relax. She was still coming down from her high, her muscles releasing their stress, when his finally happened; he cried out her name and his thrusts slowed down as his body tensed up. He came inside of her, releasing everything. He hit the glass behind her head, sending the glass flying around them; they didn't really care at the moment.

His body had visibly relaxed, and his knees gave out beneath them.

Now on the floor, they tried to regain their breaths, panting into each other's skin, "_Holy shit_…" he rasped out, resting his lips against the skin of her neck, "…that was _amazing_." She could only nod against his chest; she was too worn out to speak at the moment. "What do you suppose we tell Cragen tomorrow morning when he sees the glass?"

"We got into an argument?" She suggested. "It would keep him from knowing about this," she explained, tilting her head up to kiss just below his jaw.

"Some argument," he laughed, "but not a bad idea. It'll probably come out of our pay."

"We still have enough," Olivia said simply, "did the glass cut you?" She asked after a moment, turning his hand over; sure enough, there was some blood.

"Just a little, nothing too major." Elliot said, glancing down at the cuts, "Let's get dressed and I'll get this checked out, okay?"

"Okay." She smiled; he gave her one last kiss before he allowed her to get her clothes.

_**XxxxX**_

It had been a few days since the interrogation room, and needless to say, Cragen was pissed about the broken glass. He suspended them both for two days and took away a large portion of their pay for the glass. None of this came as a surprise though.

He told them to sort their problem out before he allowed them back in the precinct. He hadn't warned them about getting new partners, much to their surprise.

It was the Sunday after, and Olivia had found herself in her bathroom awaiting her results. Something had felt off for days, and she was a little scared. Her doctor said conception was about a 35% chance for her now, but she knew her body. Something was definitely off, and she wanted to see before she missed her period. If she was pregnant, it was unplanned, but not completely unwanted. If she wasn't, things would be okay…right?

It felt like ages before the fives tests in front of her beeped; she wanted to be absolutely sure.

Sucking in a large breath, she stood up and looked down at each test…

_Pregnant.  
Pregnant.  
Pregnant.  
Pregnant.  
Pregnant._

She released the breath she was holding and let out a small sob, covering her mouth with her hands. She didn't know what to feel. She was definitely happy, but this changed everything…

_**XxxxX**_

"Glad to see you're back." Fin said as Elliot walked into the precinct. He and Olivia were no longer on suspension, to which he was thankful for. He was surprised Olivia wasn't already here, at her desk like always. Maybe Cragen hadn't called her yet?

"It's good to be back," Elliot said, staring at her desk, "Where's Liv?"

"She hasn't come in yet," Munch answered, shaking his head, "But quick question…what were you two arguing about that made you break the glass?"

"Just the case," Elliot lied smoothly, "I wasn't going to hit her, no matter how mad I was. So I opted for the glass, 'figured it was less of a mess and wouldn't cost me a partnership…"

"Elliot, I need you in my office now." Cragen said from his doorway. Elliot glanced back at Fin and Munch who just shrugged. He walked to the office and shut the door on his way in.

"Where's Liv?" He asked.

"…She put her papers in, Elliot," Cragen replied carefully.

"What? Why would she do that?"

"I don't know…" the elder man said truthfully, "I don't know if she'll be stopping by to clear her desk, but could you box her stuff up?" Elliot nodded, but it felt like a hole had been stabbed into his chest. She was the knife, and she turned it herself…

He walked back out into the precinct, his hands itching to hit something for real this time. _Why would she do this? She regrets it_…he knew it, deep down he knew it. _It was all a mistake_, _and it's all my fault for agreeing with her_. He was the biggest idiot in the world. _And now she's running away because she doesn't want to face it…fuck_.

"What the captain want?" Fin asked.

"Liv put her papers in," Elliot said in a voice too calm to be good. The two detectives remained quiet, and Elliot began clearing her desk.

**A/N: Feedback is always appreciated. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I hope it wasn't rushed, but I didn't want to take too long to drag out the backstory. The next chapter will finish with the backstory and then it'll switch. I'm so glad so many of you like it already!**


	3. Son of a Bitch

**Chapter 3 – Son of a Bitch**

Olivia stood in front of the precinct, mentally bracing herself before she walked in the doors. She'd done is over a million times within the last twelve years, and now she couldn't even take a step up onto the curb.

She wanted to tell Elliot, but things were so complicated. She felt so idiotic.

She also hadn't wanted to leave her job, but she didn't want to leave her baby with something else for days on end either; the thought of never getting to see the little boy, or little girl was too much to bear already. She couldn't even think of how Elliot was feeling at the moment…she'd given up so easily.

"What's wrong with me?" Olivia asked herself, letting out a large sigh. She took a few more moments to prepare herself and sucked up her pride.

She walked inside, showing her ID badge for the last time.

The elevator ride didn't do much to help her anxiety either; she almost wished it would suddenly change direction and go back down. On the way up, she wondered how she was going to face Elliot. What could she tell him? _Elliot, I'm pregnant with your child. Remember how I said we didn't need that condom, boy what a moron I was_.

Yes, she wanted kids…but this was not the situation she predicted. She should have known better. Cleaning up the mess was harder than creating it. The elevator came to a halt then and her heart rate spiked up even faster as she stepped out and walked down the hall into the bullpen. Three pairs of familiar eyes landed on her face; all three filled with shock.

"I forgot to tell Cragen I'd get my things," she said quietly; her eyes locked with Elliot's and she immediately felt guilty. She noticed they were already boxed up and she assumed Cragen had already asked him to do so. Her fingers gripped the box and she watched him stand up from the corner of her eye.

"Liv, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked as soon as Munch and Fin looked away to 'continue their work'. _Eavesdroppers_… Olivia glanced up at him; she knew he needed an explanation, she just wasn't sure she could give him the answers.

"Yeah," she replied, "But not here."

"Cragen won't allow us to use any of the interrogation rooms," he said quickly; he wanted to lighten the conversation, but things seemed to just get heavier.

"The bunk room?" Olivia suggested quietly. He nodded and they silently walked upstairs. She still hadn't figured out what she was going to say to him, but the sound of the door closing behind them snapped her out of her thoughts. She remained quiet as he waited for her to speak, "Elliot…I need to go away for a while."

"Why?" His voice was low and eerily calm. She turned to face him after a moment and sighed.

"I'm not sure I can tell you right now…"

"You regret it, don't you?" He accused, "Dammit Olivia…I told you to tell me…you didn't have to quit, you could have asked for some time off…"

"You don't get it," she groaned, "And I can't tell you because I don't think I even figured it out yet."

"Why are you here then?"

"Because you need some form of closure," she whispered, "I'm an idiot, Elliot. I just don't want you to hate me."

"I don't hate you, Liv. But I need to know why you didn't tell me to stop. I told you I didn't want _this_," he motioned between them, "to be something you'd regret."

"I don't regret it, Elliot—,"

"—_Then why? Tell me, Olivia!_" He cried, "I _need_ an answer, you're driving me insane here." She wiped at her eyes, shaking her head.

"I don't have any answers, Elliot!" She retorted, "I don't even know if I'm right!"

"Right about what?" He begged, "Please…Olivia…" She had dropped her head into her hands only moments before, but she stood up straight and stopped in front of him.

"I need you to know that I don't regret it, Elliot." She whispered, "Please, know that. I have to go…" she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth; his fingers held onto hers tightly, only making this harder. "I'm sorry. Goodbye…" When she pulled back, she walked around him and brushed past him out the door.

"Olivia—!" He tried to stop her, but she refused to look back. She grabbed her things off of her desk and left the precinct without another glance back.

_**XxxxX**_

**Six Years Later**

Elliot had been running late again; Kathy had asked him if he could pick Eli up on Fridays after school. Eli refused to take the bus home, Dickie and Lizzie were off at college, Maureen and Kathleen were too busy at work (not even in the state) and Kathy was currently taking two part time jobs to keep up with the bills. Elliot, of course, paid for child support but Kathy wanted to prove she didn't always need his help.

Needless to say, it was a raging headache for the last seven years. But Elliot did it all out of love for his children regardless.

He was stuck behind the high school busses on the way to the primary/middle school; he couldn't believe so much time had already passed. Eli was in seventh grade and pretty soon he'd be off to college like his siblings. Elliot smiled at the thought. His kids were the only reason behind his happiness lately.

Ever since Olivia left, nothing felt the same.

He tried not to think about her, but on most of his hard cases she was all he thought about. Cragen was so sick and tired of sending him home to calm down that he didn't even bother with his mood swings anymore. They were embedded in him.

He began to grind his teeth at the thought of it all. To this day, he still didn't understand any of it. Things were good before that night...deep down he knew she would run off as soon as it happened. As much as he hated to admit it, she never faced things full on. He should have known better, but she seemed so sure that she fooled him so well.

He pulled into the school parking lot and waited as students began to pile out; Eli had appeared then, followed by a little girl in a pale blue dress. Her thick, dark brown hair was in two braids that started at the top, and from what Elliot could see, she was missing her front teeth. They were talking as Eli walked towards the car and her profile got clearing, almost knocking the wind from Elliot's lungs.

She looked almost like Olivia. But…

"Hey dad!" Eli smiled, throwing his backpack into the backseat.

"Hey Eli," Elliot greeted, returning his son's smile, "Who's this?" He wasn't sure if he was even ready for the answer, in fear that his suspicions were right.

"This is Kelsey, she's a first grader here. I'm her reading buddy. Can she come over for a little while?"

"Uh, I don't have a problem with that, but don't you think she should ask her parents first?"

"My mommy usually works late. I don't know my daddy," she said sadly; she perked up then, completely ignoring what she had been feeling only seconds ago, "Mrs. Greene next door to us watches me afterschool. Can you take me to my house so I can ask her? She said she would be home today just before I get there and Eli says you're a police officer." She spoke so clearly for a first grader, Elliot wondered how much she knew before she even left preschool.

"You don't take the bus?" Elliot asked.

"I do," she nodded, "but the bus stop isn't far from my house. I walk the rest of the way with the crossing guard."

"Her bus just left," Eli pointed out. Elliot wasn't sure how comfortable he felt, having just met the little girl, but she didn't have another ride now.

"…Alright," he replied, "I'll take you home. Where do you live?"

"My mommy and I live in the Chandler apartments on Church avenue in Brooklyn," she stated it as though it were memorized; if her mother was who he was currently thinking of, then he knew for a fact she'd memorize that address like the back of her hand.

He started the engine as soon as Eli shut her door and they drove off, "So Kelsey, what does your mommy do for work?"

"She works as a police officer also," Kelsey replied, "but she works for Ident…Ident…uh…"

"Identity Crimes?" He offered.

"Yeah, that's it," she said, "She comes home every night before dinner; Mrs. Greene cooks for me. Mommy says she hates the arrangement because she rarely sees me during the day, but that she does it so we have money." He couldn't get the thoughts out of his head; he had a little girl in his car, who could possibly be his ex-partner's child. He couldn't stop the question from leaving his lips.

"What's your last name, Kelsey?"

"Benson."

_**XxxxX**_

**Chandler Apartments  
Church Avenue, Brooklyn, NY  
**

The drive had taken longer than he hoped, and when they reached the apartment building Kelsey jumped out and ran up to the door, pressing the button he assumed was hers. His suspicions were definitely confirmed, and Elliot wasn't sure he was even ready to see her again.

She quit her job at SVU, moved further into Brooklyn and worked for the Identity Crimes unit. He wasn't sure how their work never crossed all these years. And everything suddenly made sense why she left. Except, now he needed to ask her. To make sure.

The door unlocked and Olivia ran out, swooping the little girl into her arms, "Kelsey you scared me! Where were you?"

"Eli's daddy brought me home," she smiled, pointing at the car. Olivia glanced up, her eyes automatically locking with Elliot's all too familiar blue ones.

"_Son of a bitch_…" she said aloud, feeling her pulse start to quicken. It was Elliot. And he looked just the same as he did the day she left. He was actually here, and her stomach was instantly filling with butterflies. She remembered too much in that moment but her daughter's voice broke her out of her thoughts.

"Mommy," Kelsey frowned.

"Sorry, Kels." She apologized, looking back down at her little girl, "Why don't you go upstairs and get washed up. I'll be up in a minute."

"But mommy I wanted to go to Eli's!" She protested , stomping her foot dejectedly.

"Kelsey please," she all but begged, "Maybe some other time. I wanted to see you today."

"Okay," she sighed; Kelsey turned back to the car and gave a sad frown to Eli, "I can't today, Eli. Mommy says no." She hated to say no to her baby girl, but things just seemed to keep falling in a spiral. "Thank you for taking me home, Mr. Eli's daddy."

"You can call me Elliot," he said, smiling down at her. She smiled and waved goodbye before heading inside, "Hi Liv." Olivia pushed her hair back for a moment, suddenly sweating in the forty degree weather.

"Hi Elliot," she said, trying her best not to look uncomfortable, "Thank you, for bringing her home. You didn't have to."

"It was no trouble," he said quickly, "Uh, can we talk for a minute?" Olivia was about to protest and he knew it.

"You know, I should really get back upstairs wi—,"

"Please? It'll only take a few minutes." She glanced around at the by-passers and sighed; she nodded after some thinking.

"Not out here," she said, "We can go upstairs, I'll have Maybelle look after Kels and Eli while we talk." Elliot cut the engine and stepped out of the car. He opened the door for Eli and he smiled at Olivia, "Go on up with Kels. Tell her to ask Mrs. Greene if she can watch you for a few, okay?" Eli nodded.

When Olivia turned back to Elliot, her breath caught. He looked taller than before; it that were even possible. Work-related stress showed in his features, but she wondered if most of it was because of her, "It's good to see you again."

"You too," Olivia said, smiling some, "How is it our kids just happened to come across each other?"

"New York City may look big, Liv…but it's really not."

"Yeah," they walked in silence as they went up to the apartment.

"So you moved?" He asked as she shut the door.

"I didn't want you to find me," she admitted guiltily. Elliot nodded once; she shut the door behind them and walked over to the kitchen table; she sat down and stared across the room at the man she left in the dark six years ago. Elliot remained at the counter, leaning against the wood of it. They were quiet again, and Olivia almost wanted to shout just to fill the silence.

"You know I have to ask—,"

"You want to know if the reason I left was because Kelsey's your daughter?" She finished.

"Is she?"

"Yeah, she is," Olivia said slowly, looking down at her hands.

"What did you tell her about me?"

"I told her the truth. Well, I said that I left you," Olivia answered, "I didn't want to lie to her."

"I'm sorry…" He whispered; she glanced up at him confused.

"What for?"

"For not being there."

"What are you talking about?" She questioned, shaking her head, "It's not your fault, El."

"It is," he disagreed, "I should have gone after you, Liv."

"I didn't expect you to," Olivia replied, "I changed my number…I moved…I don't know why I tried to shut you out, Elliot. If it's anyone's fault it's mine. I was just scared, but_ happy_. And I was so stupid…we should have used protection."

"But you kept her," Elliot stated, "And I'm not sorry for that night." He stepped closer to the table and sat down across from her.

"I couldn't get rid of her," Olivia said, her voice cracking to a whisper, "I loved her before I even knew her. I was scared, but I've always wanted to be a mother. And we couldn't work together if Cragen found out so I thought it best that I leave. I don't regret that night either, Elliot, but you need to understand why I left."

"Why didn't you tell me then?" He asked, his tone changed to an accusing one, and she didn't blame him for being angry. She made the mess and it finally caught up to her.

"Because I had taken a pregnancy test the week after, and I hadn't even seen a doctor. I didn't know if the tests were wrong. I just thought it would be better if I left. I didn't want you out of her life but you already had five kids of your own and I was scared, Elliot."

"I've already missed six years of her life, Olivia." He sighed, "I would have made time for her and given her just as much love as my other kids." As if his day wasn't crazy enough, God threw in another. He and Olivia, his former partner of all people, had a beautiful and smart, little girl. "So where do we go from here?"

"I don't know," Olivia replied, biting her lip, "I guess we tell Kelsey first, and of course, Eli. Want me to go and get them?"

"Sure," Elliot nodded, sitting up straight, "SVU isn't the same without you, you know."

"Who's my replacement?" She asked, standing up.

"Detective Laura Fields," Elliot replied. She nodded and headed towards the door.

"You know I have to ask," she said, starting the same way he did, "Do you…like her at all?"

"She's a good detective, Liv. But she's nothing like you were," he said.

"You're not answering the question."

"Do you honestly care about the answer?" He retorted, standing next to her as he grabbed the doorknob. When Olivia glared at him, he sighed, knowing she wasn't going to drop the subject until he gave her a real answer, "I don't have feelings for her."

_**XxxxX**_

"Kelsey," Olivia sat the little girl on the couch next to Eli and kneeled down in front of her, looking into her blue eyes; the eyes that reminded her of Elliot on a daily basis, "Elliot and I have something we need to tell you, okay?"

"Okay," Kelsey nodded.

"Do you remember when I told you that I left your daddy?" She asked softly; Kelsey nodded again.

"You said daddy would have loved me, and to never forget it."

"I did," Olivia smiled; he could hear Elliot suck in a breath and she laughed slightly, "Well, Kelsey, I think it was really lucky you ran into Elliot here."

"How come, mommy?"

"Kelsey, Elliot's your daddy," Olivia said; she loved how it sounded coming from her lips, in such a strong and confident voice to top it off.

"Does that mean Eli's my brother?" She asked, excited. They both knew Kelsey didn't quite understand the situation, but when she was older they would explain it better. At the moment, she had a daddy and that was all that really mattered to her.

"Technically, yes," Olivia nodded, "But Eli has a different mommy."

"He does?" Kelsey asked, glancing over at Eli. He nodded at her and Kelsey smiled. She got up off the couch and walked over to Elliot, glancing up at him with the back of her head resting on her shoulders, "You're my daddy!" She giggled; it wasn't a question. She threw her arms around his legs and squeezed tight, "I always wished you'd come home!"

_Home_. That was another thing they'd have to talk about; they're living arrangements. Because Elliot was 100% he no longer wanted to live in his apartment without Olivia and his little girl. Olivia must have read his mind because her expression was the same questioning look.

"Daddy has to return to work for now," Elliot said, kneeling down to her height so he could hug her properly, "Do you think I could come back afterwards?" He looked up at Olivia at the same time Kelsey did.

"Of course," Olivia nodded; she couldn't keep him out of her life, it wasn't right and she knew how relentless Elliot was. She always knew where Kelsey got it from. "Kelsey has to be in bed by seven, though, El. Can you come by around then?"

"I'll try to," Elliot replied.

"Can I stay up if daddy's a little late?" Kels asked.

"That means no sugary snacks after dinner then, got it little missy?" Olivia said, picking her daughter up in her arms. Kelsey nestled against her chest, wrapping her arms around her neck.

"But mommy, what if I fall asleep before daddy gets home?"

"I'll be here before you go to sleep, I promise," Elliot said, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "I love you."

"I love you too, daddy." Elliot wasn't sure what to do then; did he hug Olivia too? It was great to see her again, but he didn't know how comfortable she was with the situation. Despite, the brave face of course.

She must have been a mind reader.

Olivia leaned forward and wrapped an arm around him; her lips were at his ear and she whispered, "I'm sorry about the last six years, Elliot. We'll talk tonight. Thank you for bringing her home."

"I was glad too, Liv."

_**XxxxX**_

"Hey Elliot," Fin greeted, glancing over at Munch; they both noticed his sudden change in behavior. Elliot Stabler was actually happy, for the first time in six years. Fin and Munch both had their suspicions, they figured it was because Olivia had left. And when Elliot let it slip one day, they knew it.

"You look happy for once," Munch added; ignoring the suggestive glare from his own partner. "Meet somebody who makes you happy?"

"Actually, yes," Elliot grinned, nodding.

"Do we get to meet the lucky lady?"

"I don't know," he said with a shrug, "I'll have to talk to her mother." He watched their faces drop suddenly and he broke into loud rumbles of laughter. It got Cragen's attention; he stepped out of his office and called Elliot in. When Elliot had himself under more control, he stood up from his desk and walked into Cragen's office.

"I see you're in a better mood today," Cragen said, "It's good to see this side of you again, Elliot. I know you weren't happy that Olivia left."

"It's fine, Cap…really." Elliot replied, shaking his head, "Everything's fine now. I actually just saw her a little while ago."

"You saw Olivia?" Cragen asked, "how is she?"

"She's good." Elliot nodded once, "She's working with Identity Crimes now. I guess she revoked turning in her papers."

"Is that where you ran into her?"

"Uh, no," he said, sitting down; they really had nothing to lose now, "Look, Captain. I need to tell you something. We talked—like, _really _talked today—and we have a daughter. Her name is Kelsey and she's absolutely beautiful. And you can take away my pay for this, but we uh…we broke that window in the interrogation room six years ago." This was definitely embarrassing, especially since Cragen was practically glaring at him now, "Liv left because she got pregnant. She thought it'd be better if I kept my job here and she left."

"I don't want to know about the interrogation room." Cragen said after a long moment; he was pinching the bridge of his nose as he spoke, "I think some things are left better unsaid." Elliot breathed a sigh of relief.

"Can Fin or Munch cover for me around seven?" Elliot asked, "Kels wants to see me again and Liv and I still need to sort things through."

"As long as your report is on my desk before you leave." He was still clearly pissed about the window, but Elliot was thankful he didn't say no. He stood up and left the office, his smile was still plastered to his face.

"What kind of girl are you dating, Stabler?" Munch asked as soon as he sat down. Elliot laughed, shaking his head.

"I'm not dating anyone, John," he said, "I was completely kidding, for the record. I saw Liv today," he explained, watching as they both perked up to listen.

"How is she?"

"She's good," Elliot replied, "She—uh, _we_ have a daughter. She's six, and her name is Kelsey."

"We always knew you two would grow up to have tons of little babies running around," Munch deadpanned, smirking slightly. Fin started laughing and Elliot rolled his eyes.

"We only have one." Elliot said, leaning back in his chair.

"And when did all of this take place?" Munch questioned, "Because we now know why Liv left at least."

"I'm not telling you any of that," Elliot said, shaking his head, "that's the last thing I need to hear from you."

"What exactly was that argument about that caused you two to break the window?"

"Jesus Christ, John—," Elliot sighed, rubbing his eyes, "Fine, you know what, we did break that window! Happy? Because that's all I'm telling you."

"You already told us you two broke it. I just find it hard to believe it was an argument now."

"You're relentless…"

_**XxxxX**_

Elliot slid his hand down the bells, listening to the roar of buzzes; there was a softer buzz and he opened the door to the building. He made it up to Olivia's floor and knocked on the door; he smiled as he heard her yell from a further room, "Come on in!" He pushed the door open and stepped into the living room, "Kelsey!" The little girl came running out into the room, jumping into his arms as he crouched down to pick her up.

"Daddy!" She cried happily, hugging him. "I stayed up just for you!" Olivia entered the room, leaning against the doorway with a tired look.

"Kelsey will you stay in bed if daddy tucked you in?" She asked.

"But daddy just got here," Kelsey frowned.

"I'll be here for a while, baby girl," Elliot promised, "Do you want me to read you a story so you can fall asleep?" Kelsey nodded and Elliot glanced up at Olivia, "We can talk when I come back out."

"Okay, take your time," Olivia said, kissing Kelsey's forehead as he passed her into Kelsey's room. Olivia, however, followed them. She had always loved watching Elliot interact with the kids; the fact that Kelsey was their daughter only made Olivia's chest swell more.

She didn't regret that night. Not one bit.

They should have been smarter, yes, but Elliot gave her something she only dreamed of. She didn't want him out of her life again; for the last six years, she debated with herself if she should call him. Each day passed and she talked herself out of it. Why, she didn't know.

Kelsey had fallen asleep a short while after Elliot read to her and he silently followed Olivia back out to the living room. She already knew what she wanted to say.

**A/N: Sorry to end it there! I still have some school work that needs to be sent in before I fly down to Florida on Wednesday. I will update more tomorrow, I swear by it! Like always, feedback is appreciated :) you're reviews are so nice and creatively criticizing (in a good way). I thank you for it and it keeps me going! **


	4. Yes or No?

**A/N: I greatly apologize for the wait! I meant to post this before I left for Florida but clearly that never happened! Don't shoot, it's up now and hopefully I can get chapter 5 up much faster. Like always, I own nothing but the plotline. Also, minor warning: you will come across a 'self-harm' reference (if it can even be classified as that) involving aspirin and/or sleeping pills. I just don't want to offend anybody, though I don't believe it will be taken the wrong way but just to be on the safe side. I do not condone self-harm but I know it's a natural instinct for people with traumatic experiences (etc.). Feel free to message me if you need someone to listen because I am all ears. I want to help if I can, even if all I can do is listen and respond. :)**

**Chapter 4 – Major Changes**

Olivia settled in on her side of the couch, handing Elliot the bottle of beer she had offered him; he thanked her quietly and they sat in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes; she wanted to talk first, he could sense it, but he knew she was waiting for the right words.

She turned her body in his direction and curled her knees in as she made herself smaller, "Elliot, I—I wanted to tell you about her the moment I found out, but you already had five kids…I know you wouldn't have left me to take care of her myself, but I don't know what made me hide it. I was scared—,"

"Olivia—,"

"No, listen," she said, stopping him before he could interrupt her thoughts, "I wanted that night to happen…for _so long_, Elliot, I really did. I didn't expect to get pregnant and I know I should have because we weren't careful, but you gave me the one thing I wanted and I wanted her so bad. I wanted to love her, and hug her. I wanted to hold her in my arms, and for some reason I thought being alone with her would make that better somehow. I feel awful keeping you out of her life; seeing you again this afternoon felt surreal, Elliot," she sighed, looking down at her hands in her lap, "The fact that it was you, her own father, who had dropped her off…"

"I looked for you, Liv." He said softly, "For three years. I didn't want to give up but eventually I found myself doubting you'd ever show up again."

"I tried to remain hidden," she admitted sadly, "I don't know why. I guess I just didn't want to be found yet. I figured if I joined a different unit, one that wasn't as commercialized as SVU, I could keep a low profile."

"You did a damn good job at that," Elliot said, his tone was slightly bitter as much as he tried to stay calm. Truth was, yes, he wanted to yell at her. He wanted to chastise her for shutting him out for six years, but he knew that would lead them nowhere besides being pissed off at each other and he didn't want to lose either of them again.

"I'm really sorry, El," she whispered.

"Where do we go from here, Liv?" He asked, "I need to know that you're not going to disappear again now that I'm in your lives. I want to be in Kelsey's life, for the rest of my days." She understood his pain; he had suffered because of her and she didn't blame him of accusing her. She knew she always ran, but that was something she wanted to change for their daughter's sake.

"I want you in her life," Olivia replied; her voice cracked and her eyes began to spill over some, "I want you back in my life, too. I wanted to call you, every day I tried to force myself to after I left, but I just couldn't. And that makes things an even bigger mess because I screwed up, Elliot. I shut you out and hid…it's what I've always done and most times I never gave any of it a second thought." Elliot could see just how hard she was being on herself; it softened him instantly, he knew he couldn't yell at her when she was already beating herself up. He reached across and held her hand in his; he willed her to look up and when she finally did he spoke again.

"I'm willing to try whatever you want to do, Olivia." He said gently, "I just don't want you, or Kelsey, leaving me behind again. If you want, you can steer this thing however you see it best. Just don't shut me out anymore." She bit her and nodded, carefully pulling her hand away. His touch burned, and as much as she wanted to keep it there, it distracted her too much to think.

"We can try living together for a few weeks," she suggested, glancing up at him, "For Kelsey. It'd probably be easier for you to see her that way. And it would maybe give us a feel for the situation at hand here…" she was weary on the idea, but if things were going to change she was gonna have to get used to it; sanity be damned. "I have a guest room that you can use in the meantime."

"You want me to move in with you?" The beer he had been holding was long forgotten now; he had placed it on the coffee table, having only taken one sip.

"Not technically," she answered, trying to hide her nerves at his choice of words, "I just mean this as a test run. I don't want to send her off to your home on weekends when you can see her more often than not here. I just think it'd be easier." Elliot nodded after a moment of thought. "Just bring over whatever you're going to need…clothes, a toothbrush…that kind of stuff. We only have one bathroom," Olivia explained, "however, the apartment is big enough to offer us some space every now and then. Mrs. Greene usually watches and cooks for Kelsey when I'm not home. Since we both work late jobs, it'd be nice for Kelsey to see at least one of us at home at night."

"Are _you_ comfortable with this, Olivia?" He asked, "I'm fine with it if you're not, you just need to tell me."

"I don't mind it," she answered.

"Alright," he nodded, "because I think that's something else we're gonna have to change together. You and I barely ever talked when something was bothering one of us. I don't want everything to fall apart because we can't communicate like normal people."

"I agree," Olivia was almost relieved he had pointed that out; she knew they had a hard time saying what was on their minds, but things had to change for the better, "The guest room is ready whenever you are. My room is down the hall, and Kelsey's is right next door." They were really only thinking for Kelsey right now; they wanted her to be happy. Despite his and Kathy's attempt at keeping their marriage alive for Eli, Elliot felt more confident this time around—even though he and Olivia weren't married. He suddenly wondered if that would ever be the turn of things, or if they were simply just roommates raising their own child now.

That sounded like a horrible next twelve years.

Elliot sighed and sat up straight, watching Olivia for a moment; he didn't even need to ask to know she was iffy on the upcoming events; he was glad she was at least trying, and for that, he wasn't going to give up now.

"Feel free to look around the apartment," she said standing up, "you can stay here tonight if you'd like. If you need to, there's hot water for a shower. I'm going to get some sleep because today has been eventful…goodnight."

"Goodnight." She left the room moment later and Elliot remained on the couch; he was deep in thought as he went over their conversation. At least they weren't yelling like they used to at SVU. They had actually talked, which made things a little more positive. He stayed in the living room for a few more minutes before he headed to the guest room; he kicked his shoes off by the end of the bed and stripped down to his boxers.

He pulled the covers back on the bed and slipped beneath the sheets. The entire apartment smelled like Olivia, and it was almost intoxicating, but the familiarity of it drifted him off to sleep quickly.

_**XxxxX**_

Standing in the interrogation room, as Fin and Munch interrogated their perp, brought back fond memories. The glass was different now, of course. Elliot realized then that he and Olivia should have at least taken care of their desire somewhere less...cold?

Maybe the bed in his apartment; though she probably never would have left because that would have been quite a sight. He was aroused just at the thought of what they would have done. To see her brown, wavy curls sprawled out across his pillows; to truly appreciate her body. He imagined running his fingers down her sides playfully, watching her squirm under the tickle of it.

Or to kiss her lips until they were red and swollen; what he wouldn't give to see the make up slightly smudged under her eyes, knowing he had caused that. He also couldn't get the idea of running his fingers through her hair out of his head; or even to hold her face still in his hands and watch her come as he thrust into her. The way her eyes would roll to the back of her head as she cried out in pleasure…

He was killing himself as his now, fully hard erection pressed against the fly of his zipper.

He mentally cursed himself out for thinking of things like that when they had just resolved some issues not even twelve hours ago. He tried to focus his attention on the investigation to clear his mind, listening for anything to turn him off.

_**XxxxX**_

Olivia had preoccupied herself at her desk filling out paperwork. Her mind kept flickering back to the conversation between herself and Elliot. Thing were looking up, and she was somewhat thankful that Elliot wasn't too angry with her. She honestly wouldn't have blamed him if he had been angrier; she actually wanted him to be. She wanted him to yell at her, to tell her she was stupid for running off…but he didn't.

Her mind had practically been racing for the rest of the night afterwards; he was asleep in the next room. She had stayed up, listening to the sounds of Brooklyn outside of her window but he caught her attention around six the next morning as he got up and left for a change in clothes, she assumed, because he had returned about an hour later, all changed and waiting to take Kelsey to school with Eli.

She made a mental note to herself to give him a spare key to the apartment so she didn't have to get up and let him back in. The arrangement, she feared, was not going to last long if that happened every morning. They had quickly departed and she got ready for work.

Her mind had wandered off to a different thought then; the night Kelsey was conceived. She remembered Elliot's arm going through the window; she remembered their private joke on the days that followed when Cragen had discovered the broken window. Needless to say, they were both put on desk duty for what their '_argument_' had caused.

She remembers that being the best sex she ever had.

Her stomach flipped and she sighed, throwing her pen down in front of her. The way he'd filled her; she almost moaned at the thought, but bit her lip to hold it back. For a man his size, and despite the pure, raw need for each other in those moments, he was surprisingly gentle.

And now she was turned on.

The way he had held her against the wall, his arm wrapped around his stomach as he worked his fingers on her. She needed to stop this line of thought now before it was too late. Or before she called him to the apartment and jumped him…

_No! Bad Olivia_, she scolded herself. She wondered then how turned on she's be if Elliot had scolded her that way, _NO! Don't even think about __**that**__!_

She sighed again and pulled her hair up into a ponytail; the room had gotten about ten degrees hotter and she only had herself to blame for that. There was no way she could just have a quickie with him and get it over with; it was wrong, and it didn't seem like a good solution to the entire situation at all. Not even if it were to get her needs out of the way.

_**XxxxX**_

_Knock, knock!_

Olivia got up from her seat on the couch and grabbed the spare key off of the side table; she had been helping Kelsey with her homework at the coffee table while watching some black and white reruns on the television. By habit, she looked out the peephole before unlocking the door and opening it.

"Hey," Elliot greeted, smiling. He had a duffle bag with him, which she assumed was filled with whatever he needed for his stay. He could go back to his own apartment whenever he pleased, of course, but with Kelsey in the picture she doubted he would leave unless he had too.

"Hi," Olivia replied, returning his smile, "Before I forget, here's your key so you can get in and out." She handed him the small, silver key and he placed it on his key ring.

"Thank you."

"No problem," she stepped out of the way so he could come in, "And for the record, I don't mind it but I don't want to have to keep getting up every morning to let you back in." He laughed, causing her to smile; things were easy, happy. She suddenly wondered when it would all come crashing down. But Olivia tried her best to suppress those thoughts. They would only cause her to freak out and run again…that was the last thing any of them needed.

Though, she was just always waiting for everything to turn bitter.

She shut the door as he stepped in, walking around her. Kelsey had long forgotten about her homework; she jumped and into ran to her daddy's arms, almost choking him with her hug. He kissed her cheek and moved over to the couch to place her down next to him. She was excited that her father was home, which made her explaining her homework to him all the more funnier.

"Did you eat?" Olivia asked, sitting on the arm of the couch beside him. He was so close, yet the small gap between them felt so far. She refused to give herself the 'he's-no-longer-my-partner-it-could-work-out' speech; it was fruitless because she would always talk herself out of it in the end.

Long story short, Olivia Benson did not easily give in to her desires.

And she didn't want to classify her emotions as desires either, but something's exposed themselves like flashing, neon lights. It was only a matter of time before he figured things out. So she had to do her best to keep him at arms-length once again; it was just too embarrassing to voice how she felt. She didn't even know if he'd understand, or if he would even be interested after all these years.

Sure, they had sex all those years ago, in the precinct interrogation room of all places—when there were beds right upstairs; they had a daughter to top it off, but that sort of thing couldn't happen again. It was the thrill of the moment, a moment without hesitation or consideration. It was pure want and need mingled together to create a confusion of sorts. Her head pounded at the thought of it all; if only it weren't against her better judgment, three or four 500 milligram pills wouldn't hurt too much, it would stop the pain and probably numb her senses—

_Seriously, Benson? You have a child, set a good example for her._ Olivia sighed under her breath just as Elliot spoke.

"No, but don't go crazy I don't need to eat anything right now," he said, rubbing her forearm with his thumb. It was too affectionate, too tempting, the circles he was burning into her skin with just a small touch. She pulled back slowly, glancing down at the floor. She didn't look back up, and Elliot, sensing she didn't want to talk about something in front of Kelsey, returned his attention back to the little, wavy brunette sitting on his lap. He ran his fingers through her hair; this made him think of Olivia.

Late nights at the precinct that made him focus his attention to her small details. He would imagine her beneath him, on top of him, around him. What would it be like to be inside of her. He would think of how he would kiss her, with his fingers slipping through her brown locks. He would imagine the sounds she could make, the volumes she could possibly reach. Maybe she purred, or maybe she'd break glass. Elliot wondered if she would bite her lip to hold it back, or scream into his shoulder with her hot, wet mouth and teeth sinking into his skin.

He thought about his fingers circling her wrists above her head while he sucked and licked at the spot behind her ear as he whispered things into her ear; slipping in and out of her slowly, gradually adding to the pace she craved. He would let her call the shots, so long as he had his turn. But he would also make her beg for it, just to hear the whimper in her voice.

Elliot found himself, more often than he could shamelessly admit, wondering what she tasted like; her lips were wine, but the rest of her—his erection was painfully hard.

As he remembered those thoughts, he moved Kelsey down on to the couch again. He tried to discreetly shift and was thankful that Olivia had busied herself with the soft carpet below her bare feet. He turned back to Kelsey and they worked on finishing her homework.

Olivia was off in her own thoughts. Her skin had nearly burst into flames with the sensations pulsing through her nerves; did he know what he was doing to her? Was he aware of the intensity of his effects? Maybe that's why he did it, to get a reaction from her? Olivia sighed again, this time much louder. She was overthinking things again; her specialty.

She caught Elliot glancing up at her from the corner of her eye but she tried to act natural, like she hadn't noticed a thing.

He wasn't buying in to her bullshit, much to her dismay,

She hated him, she really did. He knew her too well; he was the bullets to her gun, basically. More clichés came to her mind and she realized how stupid she must have sounded, even if she could only hear herself.

"Are you sure, El?" She asked, "I don't mind really. I can go out—,"

"Relax," Elliot said gently, holding his hands up to stop her. He was grinning, almost smirking and she glared for a short moment, "I'm fine, Liv. I promise. I don't need to eat right now." She wanted to protest; she knew the job, hell, she used to work next to him. He had to have been hungry…

She decided not to dwell on it and sunk into the back cushion; Elliot watched her for a moment. She was acting odd, but he could understand why; they were both in awkward positions at the moment. He was a dad, but no longer a husband. She was a mother, but no longer his partner. They hadn't talked in six years, but suddenly here they were.

Moving in with Olivia was definitely a stretch, and neither were quite accommodated yet. They were thrust into the situation because of their own stupidity, though they were absolutely sure they didn't, and would never regret Kelsey at all.

"Would you at least eat something small?" She continued after a moment. Elliot sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Fine, would that make you relaxed and happy?" He was teasing, but serious as well; he knew her, she wouldn't drop something that was bothering her. Question was, why the hell something so passive was upsetting her? So he missed eating for a day, it wasn't like he was starving at the moment.

"Yes, actually, it would."

"Alright," he replied, shaking his head, "What do you have, I'll grab it myself."

"I can get it." It clicked then, as she scurried off into the kitchen; she was hiding something, no doubt, but he was pretty sure he knew what. So he followed her into the kitchen.

"You don't need to baby me, Olivia." The use of her full name; he rarely used it anymore, unless he was being serious. Her eyes narrowed slightly.

"I'm not babying you, _Elliot_."

"Okay," he shrugged, "Then what are you hiding?"

"What makes you think I'm hiding something?"

"For one, you suck at lying to me. Two, I've known you for almost thirteen years, I can tell when something's bothering you. And three, I just know."

"Good reasons, you'd wipe the floor with Alex in court," Olivia said, turning away from him. Elliot reached out instinctively, whipping her back around to face him. He lowered his voice so Kelsey didn't hear him.

"Can you just tell me your goddamn problem, Olivia!" He hissed, "I hate when you do this! You shut me out. Why can't you tell me anything?" He was glaring at her, and she was matching his stance. He always riled her up, but she always pushed him to it. "I feel like we're running in a full circle—,"

"You're one to talk—,"

"This is no different than you running off with Kelsey six years ago, Olivia." That did it. Olivia stepped back, yanking her arm free of his grasp. She lowered her voice too, trying her damnest not to yell in his face.

"I thought we were passed that! You _always_ do that to me! You bring things up, and you knock me down Elliot! When are you going to stop throwing things back in my face, huh? Because I said I was sorry for that! And I mean really, _really_ sorry…" She jabbed him in the chest, hard, almost enjoying the slight cringe he gave.

"Why can't you just tell me what's wrong?"

"And why can't you stop being such an asshole?"

"Calling me names isn't going to solve any of this, Olivia." Elliot said coldly; his face was mere inches from hers, but this was out of anger. Space didn't mean shit at the moment. "I know I'm not one to talk, but you know what, if we want shit to get fixed we need to start talking now."

"Don't talk to me like you're a shrink. I've seen enough of them thank you very much." Olivia argued, "You shut down the moment someone talks about something you refuse to bring up. We're wired the same, Elliot. Why do you have to know?"

"Do you want this to work out, yes or no?"

"Elliot—,"

"Yes or no!" He asked again, harsher, "Because if not, I'll leave now. But Kelsey will never see me again; I don't want that, she doesn't want that, and I know for damn sure you don't want that, do you?"

"No…" Olivia sighed. His expression softened some, and he placed his hands on her shoulders; when she looked up he continued.

"Do you want this to work, yes or no?"

"Yes." She nodded; inside, she felt like a puppy that was just kicked. How could any of this work if they were going to fight? Everything seemed good up until now; she needed to stop overthinking things, but it was second nature to her. She didn't want him getting close, just to lose him later on. God forbid fate should step in once more; her track record with guys and relationships was like the _Titanic_'s sinking.

"Can you tell me what's wrong now?" His blue eyes would be the death of her; they silently pleaded her, begging for answers. He looked almost scared, it made her want to run. She wanted to run because it was what she knew, and he wanted to get close.

She did too, but the closer she got the more it would hurt in the end.

"I just want this to work, El…" she said quietly, "If not for us, then for Kelsey. But you and Kathy tried for Eli and it didn't work out…my history with guys is a mess. I'm just not sure of what I'm doing, this is one hell of a shot in the dark, Elliot. I have no clue what I'm supposed to do, and I just want to be a good mother to her. I don't want her to have the life I did; I want her to smile every day and feel safe every night. I want her to have two parents, ones who care about her and love her. There's nothing between us, Elliot, nothing that's happening and I don't want Kelsey to think—," she stopped, shaking her head. She tried to look away, but Elliot gentle, coaxing fingers pulled her chin back up.

"To think what?" He asked, "Olivia, please talk to me."

"I don't want Kelsey to think that her parents don't love each other. I feel like this whole idea will give her the wrong impression of love, and marriage, and family. I feel like she's going to think you're just trapped her, like you had no other choice because I got pregnant."

He absorbed everything she said; she was absolutely right. There was nothing between them besides friendship, though that certainly didn't mean he didn't want more from her. They could teach Kelsey about it, though that would turn out painfully awkward for all three of them.

Elliot knew what she was saying though; and he wanted the same thing for her. He wanted her to see what real love was like, and what a real family was supposed look like. He had to pick his words carefully, he didn't want to scare her off, "Let me show you a real relationship, Olivia..."

**A/N: Like always, feedback is appreciated :)**


	5. Chiseling

**Chapter 5 – Chiseling**

_Let me show you a real relationship._

_Holy shit_. Olivia backed away from him slightly, looking down; did he even know what he just said? She wanted to ask him what he started smoking after she left. There was no way he wanted to go through with that at all; nobody wanted to deal with her. She was better off alone. "I'm better off alone, Elliot," she voiced just barely above a whisper.

There was a small dip between his eyebrows at her words, "Tell me why." She had nothing left to lose; Olivia bit her lip for a moment. Elliot lightly gripped her chin and forced her to look him in the eyes, "Liv…"

"Nobody, and certainly not you, wants to put up with me, El. I thought we already established my past with men."

"What makes you think I'm anything like those other men?" Elliot questioned, gently stroking her jaw. It was distracting to say the least; she held back a small moan and pulled from his grasp. He sighed and ran his fingers through his short hair, "I'm not gonna lie to you Olivia, you can be a pain in the ass, and stubborn as hell but you were my partner. I still care about you."

"How much? Like 'my partner' care or…?" He hadn't expected her question; she wasn't going to expect his answer.

It would probably scare the hell out of her too.

"'My partner' caring doesn't mean anything anymore," he replied; that was probably the safest answer he could give her. It keep her in the room at least.

"You're not answering my question."

"Do you really want to know or are you going to leave me right here?"

"What the hell, Elliot…" Olivia said, aggravated. She turned away from him and faced the counter, bracing her hands against the false granite. Elliot wrapped his fingers around her forearm but she ripped her arm from his gasp and glanced over her shoulder at him, "Will you _stop!_ Throwing! That! In! My! Face!" She was hitting him on the chest now, continuously prying her hands from his.

"I'm not saying it to insult you!" He said, finally stabilizing her, "Liv, I'm telling you the truth, whether you want to hear it or not. Hell, whether you admit to it or not." Elliot tried to keep his voice even with her but her rising attitude wasn't helping him at all, "But I know you know it's true. Oregon, Kelsey…you can't tell me you didn't run away for both of those."

"I was reassigned—"

"Bullshit. You asked to be reassigned," Elliot snapped, "Don't lie to me, Olivia! I know you asked Cragen."

"I have nothing to say to you," she finally said.

"Good. Because I have tons to say to you," he retorted. Olivia rolled her eyes and turned her gaze away from him; she was focusing on everything but his face. She would listen, but she wasn't happy about it at all. "I know your record with men, okay? I've watched you for years, Liv, I've seen when a relationship fell through. You were miserable for a day, and then you moved on. Don't tell me that another relationship is going to scare the pants off of you because if I was as lucky as those guys to spend a night with you," Olivia rolled her eyes again, smirking some, "I would do my damnedest to make sure I didn't hurt you." Her eyes flickered to his then; they looked almost guilty, and somewhat hopeful.

"El—,"

"Tell me why you're not willing to try this." She couldn't look away and she knew she was doomed. He wasn't going to drop the subject until she gave him an answer.

"Mommy!" Kelsey called from the other room; saved by the kid.

"We're not finished." Elliot said, lowering his lips to her ear. She shivered as his breath hit her skin and shook her head.

"Kelsey needs me," Olivia slipped out under his arm and practically sprinted out into the living room. Elliot sighed; he knew she wasn't going to come back into the kitchen as long as the topic was still so fresh in their minds, so he followed her out into the other room.

He wasn't going to let her off that easily. When Kelsey was asleep maybe they could control their volumes a little better and actually discuss things.

He doubted it, but it was worth a shot.

_**XxxxX**_

"I love you, daddy," Kelsey yawned, wrapping her little arms around his neck; Elliot pulled back some and kissed her cheek. He snuggled into her hold and just breathed her presence in. He couldn't believe he was the father or not only five, but now six children.

He would be lying if he said it didn't make him think he was just like their perp who was a reproductive abuser; if that were the case, he could only hope Olivia or Kathy didn't own a wasp knife…or that they would ever use it on him if they did. His chest felt the pain from the thought and he sighed, "I love you too, baby girl."

"Daddy, I'm not a baby," she said, emphasizing her point. Elliot chuckled; he missed the innocence. However, the estrogen/testosterone levels were once again off balance in his family life. It was only him, Dickie, and Eli who were the male figures; Olivia, Kathy, Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie, and now Kelsey tipped the scale with another female.

Elliot didn't mind much at all though; he loved all of his children equally. He tried to put Ken Turner and his thirty-something children and female-victims out of his mind. He was nothing like Ken, and he never would be because he respected women. This was just a…happy accident?

And he didn't know if he even wanted anymore children, especially at his age now.

He couldn't really classify it at the moment either; he gave Olivia what she always wanted, and she didn't blame him or accuse him of anything. Kelsey gave him a chubby-cheeked, innocent grin; he could faintly see one of her front teeth growing in; he suddenly wondered if she was like Dickie and just pulled them out, or if she was like Lizzie and waited for them to fall out themselves.

"One more story?" Kelsey tried.

"How about you tell me a story tonight?" Elliot suggested, "Like how you lost those front teeth?" He lightly tapped her small lips with his index finger, earning a small giggled from his little girl.

"Okay!" She sat up, wiggling out of the cocoon he'd tucked her into; well, she was like Dickie in one way…no matter how many times he dragged his son back to his room, Dickie was always back out thirty seconds later. "I was in mommy's bed…I had a nightmare and she said I could stay with her. My toofs was loose for a while, mommy said it was okay because they grow back. This one," she pointed to the small nub of a tooth that was growing in and continued, "has growed back. Mommy wanted to help me pull them out so they could grow back faster but I was scared it would hurt. Mommy let me wait…" Elliot smirked; _oh thank you God, I don't want to worry about a sixteen-year-old female-version of Richard. _

"Did it hurt when it finally came out?"

Kelsey shook her head and smiled, "Nope. I told mommy 'I told you so'. She laughed."

"And Kelsey, tell me…does mommy snore?"

"Why are you asking our six year old daughter if I snore, Stabler?" Olivia asked from the doorway; Elliot bit back his laughter; he had been caught red handed. Kelsey giggled and ducked her face beneath the blanket.

"I think mommy heard you!" She half-whispered; she whispered like a hurricane, but Elliot loved her more from something that reminded him Kelsey was so much like Olivia.

"I think so too," Elliot grinned, pulling the blanket down to kiss her cheek, "Time for bed, baby girl. I love you," he stood up and tucked her into another cocoon; she smiled up at him before closing her eyes and snuggling further into her pillow.

The sight, though she had seen it a few times these last few nights, never ceased to make her tear up. She advanced towards the bed and pressed a soft kiss to Kelsey's forehead, "I love you."

"I love you too," Kelsey mumbled sleepily. She yawned one last time before they turned the light off and shut her door carefully.

"I know you want to talk still, Elliot," Olivia began, heading into the kitchen with him right behind her, "but I need to say something first, okay?" He nodded and she worried her bottom lip for a moment, scraping her teeth across it, "It's not that I'm not willing to try a relationship with you…I want you in her life, I've made that very clear. It's just that we've been partners for so long and I'm afraid I'll say or do something that'll ruin everything." Elliot gave her a gentle smile, shaking his head.

Of course he would dismiss her fears.

"Elliot I'm serious…"

"I know you are," he said, just above a whisper, "Liv, I wouldn't be pushing this hard if this was something I wasn't sure of. You need to trust me." Of course she trusted him, she just didn't trust herself. And this was a new territory that scared her nearly to death; it just seemed so fast.

"I need..." she was going to sound like a selfish bitch; she faltered on her words some and sighed. _If I'm a bitch, then so be it_. She didn't want to hurt him, but she needed to talk to him, even if it was like pulling her own teeth. "I need time, El. I'm willing to try, but we need to take steps. I can't just jump into this again." She didn't see an ounce of hesitation in his expression; she actually saw relief flood through him. Elliot nodded and pulled her into his chest, resting his chin on her shoulder. He turned his head a little, his lips brushing gently against the skin of her ear.

"Just don't go anywhere, Liv. Please…" he whispered. Olivia released the breath she had been holding and nodded in return.

_**XxxxX**_

It was routine.

She was slowly becoming an insomniac; she almost wanted to rip those glowing stars off of Kelsey's ceiling and slap them up onto her own. This _no-sleep-for-Olivia_ act was getting old really quick. She didn't know what was keeping her up, but for the last few days she noticed just how big, and empty her bed felt.

And that just wasn't acceptable right now.

She needed sleep, and if she asked Elliot to try and help her sleep both her sanity, and her _'I need time'_ excuse would be shot to hell. She sighed, yeah it was an excuse, but she didn't really want to admit that she would scare the piss out of herself if she agreed to go any further than their current situation.

Heaven knows he'd be by her side every second, and though there shouldn't have been anything wrong with that, she would have just felt trapped and tried to run again. Her goal was to try, not run like a little bitch and lose him all over again.

Olivia was almost tempted to lightly knock on the wall and see if he was awake; yes, she was giving in. She didn't care at the moment, she just needed some sleep. Instead, she threw the covers off of her feet and stood up. The creaky floors gave her movements away.

Olivia fixed her shirt, pulling it down over her thighs. She opened her door and walked across the hall to his, knocking loud enough so he could hear it. There was no movement at first, Olivia turned around suddenly thinking it was a mistake, but the door opened quietly behind her and his voice rang out, "Olivia?" Had he been sleeping? His voice sounded groggy; _glad he could sleep…_

She turned back around to face him and nodded, "I couldn't sleep," she admitted, lowering her eyes to the floorboards.

He actually thought he was in a dream; for one, she was standing in front of him with just an overgrown t-shirt and shorts, and second, she was here because she couldn't sleep. He couldn't remember the last time she admitted that to him.

"Do you want to stay in here?" He asked softly, opening the door more. Olivia glanced in for a moment and nodded.

"We can just talk…I mean—,"

"I don't mind, Liv." He smiled slightly, "Come on." His fingers circled around her wrist; he led her into the room and sat down on his bed, motioning for her to pick whatever side she wanted. Olivia got in on the opposite side. Elliot pulled the blankets down for her and she muttered a small thank you.

It was foreign, but the empty feeling was gone. _Damn you, heart_.

Her head was screaming how wrong this was, how weak she was, but her heart felt stronger and told her head to shut the hell up because this felt right. She sighed, not sure if it was out of contentment, exhaustion, or from the tiresome war her head and heart were at right now. Elliot turned the side lamp off and settled into his side, turning to face her. Olivia was in _his_ bed right now…her scent would be everywhere once she left, and he was perfectly okay with that.

"Is something wrong?" He whispered; he could faintly make out her figure in the darkness. She had already made the mattress warmer, and he couldn't have been happier she was actually here. No, he wasn't going to try anything with her…he'd be an idiot to try and mess up what was currently taking place. If they could stay like this forever, he'd be just fine with it.

"I just couldn't sleep," Olivia replied, curling her legs up to her chest. Her head rested on the soft pillow and she felt her eyelids getting heavy already. _Damn you, heart_. It seemed lately she was always damning something, it was probably her life's motto by now.

"I know the feeling," he said, his breath fanning her face. She could smell his spearmint toothpaste and it brought back a lot of memories. She felt her body shift towards him some; she didn't try to stop herself, she needed the sleep and she was determined to get it anyway possible.

"Weren't you just sleeping?" Olivia asked. Elliot chuckled quietly; his fingers danced across the top of her hand, causing her body to break out in a comfortable shiver.

"I was," he answered, "but there were nights, after you left, where I didn't."

"I'm really sorry, Elliot," she said sadly, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Let's not talk about that right now." He hadn't said it harsh, or too quick. He'd said it was compassion and forgiveness. It only made her ache more because there was no way he knew how sorry she was. She would say it for the next twelve years if she had too.

"We have too sometime," Olivia said, "I've been trying to avoid it when you want to talk but that's not fair. I can't stand you thinking that I regret it."

"I don't think that, Olivia." He moved closer, linking his fingers through hers underneath the thick blanket. "I don't think that at all, believe me. I know we have to talk, and I'm ready whenever you are, but I'm not going to push you." He didn't want to upset her right now, so he left out the part about her running again if he did push her to talk. Eventually, he'd have to but right now he wanted things to be left the way they were.

"I think that was part of our mistake," she sighed, defeated.

"How about we try for some sleep and continue this tomorrow?" Elliot suggested; he pulled her into a small hug, resting his arms under hers and around her waist for a moment. He expected her to pull away and rest on her side of the bed, but instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and nestled into his neck, releasing an exhausted breath. He heard a quiet okay in the midst of it before her breathing evened out, and she was asleep.

He drifted off shortly afterwards.


End file.
